We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
