i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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