Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
