i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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