mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
