I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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