I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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