Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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