Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
