I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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