so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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