Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
