I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
