Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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