it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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