i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
