her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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