i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
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I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
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when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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