omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
