i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she told me i tasted like america
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
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