btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
