So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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