I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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