I swear she didn't look like that last week.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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