She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
