So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
there was a trapeze. enough said
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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