I hate your face
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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