Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.