How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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