how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
