No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
