My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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