I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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