Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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