Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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