I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
that's an acceptable place to lick
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
