Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
