so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
