I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
