'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
