u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
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You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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