She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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