It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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