We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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