There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
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I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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