Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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