He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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