He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
