i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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