Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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