We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
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You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
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Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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