i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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