sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
