Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So. Much. Porn.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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