Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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