Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
