Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
