i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
