are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
