whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
