Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
