She is in my trunk
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
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